Reflections

In my craft, I stare at the reflection in the mirror. I stare at my reflection. I remove my helmet. I reflect back on what I have done so far, who I am. The first drop of desire that I have ever felt, and in the end it was mere manipulation, trickery, not of me. Transgress. It was never real or true. It was nothing I felt. It was hollow, merely going along with another’s wishes of my free will. Desire is impossibility for me.

There is no satiate to be had. The more I kill, the more I kill. That is all. I am driven to death. It was never a desire for revenge, I see it all too clearly now. This reprieve has shown me that more than ever. It is a directed drive for the termination of life. It overwhelms me without end. The connection between us. Me. It, I, am only myself now. It is all I can do to take pleasure in it.

However, is there a lack? A lack of death for me, I am missing death?

No. My death has been fulfilled in life. With this suit, from the 6th dimension, I am complete. I lack nothing. Does my former humanity encroach in my currency? No. I must keep going, spreading death wherever I am. Remorse has been removed. Mindless violence attached to an ever thinking mind. Constant energy, constant movement.

I reject spirit not by choice, but by force. It has no place in my form at any time. There is no lack; there is not a missing of soul, but a replacement with a fuller self. Those with a soul are incomplete, seeking other souls. To validate their own, or to complete what no being has in full, I do not know, and do not care. It is not my place to postulate on these matters, because it is something I can never have. I am full of myself.

I am of two minds that are of one, and of the same.

The realm, the dimension of the unknown is what has sustained me beyond life. It is the realm in which I died, and first ever truly lived. It is where my armor originated, and from where my power is drawn.

I’ve been side-tracked from my pursuit far too long. There’s no telling how far Kænus has escaped from my reaches due to my time on Müün. I search The Database, and I find him. The fool, he’s returned from the unknown reaches. This is too easy. He has discovered whatever it was that he was searching for. No doubt why he destroyed my planet. He’ll be making the announcement at a large summit in the next cycle. Plenty of time. I’ll intercept his luxury expedition craft before then, and eviscerate him, organ by organ. I will prostrate him, reveal to him alone that I know what he truly is, let him know he is not worthy of the veneration he receives. I will shatter his body beyond all recognition. I will crush all that he is. I will ruin all that he has built, and finally, I will leave him to bleed out.

I complete my armor once more. The eyes of my helmet glow a bright red. I walk to the controls, and set my course.

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2 Responses to “Reflections”

  1. “There’s no telling how far Kænus has escaped from my reaches due to my time on Müün.” I love the interconnectedness of all your stories. I want to reinstate how difficult it is to accomplish that successfully and you have managed to do so. Also, it is difficult to comment your stories as they are no longer true short stories; they are like continuations so I just keep waiting for what will come next. Your writing style has definitely changed since your first post around July. You’ve evolved, just like your relationship with your armor.

  2. This story was a good one. It gave a good insight into the character and the description of what he’s going to do to Kaenus was awesome ^,^

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