GuNNhead

The two Vampires who escaped my wrath, it must be told, were not true Vampires at all.

I’d heard a tale of two Vampires operating outside of the Vampire norm, acting on their own. Knowing this to be odd behavior for Vampires, I had to investigate. I traced the rumors down to an old man who claimed to be a Vampire hunter. His name was Helsing. He owned a van. His last name was Ramsey, and he obviously was delusional. Six charges of minor assault in the past year against people he perceived as “Vampires.” I was largely disappointed that this was not a path to more Vampires to kill. However, he did offer some information of intrigue, I observed him confront one of these ‘Vampires’ at night. I watched as he ended up dead in an alley, with a broken neck. Perhaps this was one who had learned to disguise their Vampirocity from the Vampire’s psychic connection; a Vampire can simply tell when another is one of their Vampire kind.

I descended into the alley from the rooftop before he could dig his extended fangs into the old codger.
“Stop what you’re doing, Vampire scum!”
“Woah woah, what the fuck? Vampire? Fuck you, buddy!”
I slice at the Vampire, and he stumbles backwards into a trashcan.
“Fuck! Fucking fuck dude, that’s a fucking sword!”
“It is the Vampire-Killer, Vampire!”

The Vampire begins to run, as most cowardly Vampires do when confronted with a death. That is the problem with Vampires, they can complain for hundreds of years about the pain of eternal life, but the second they can see a potential end to their Vampiric bloodlust, they try every trick in the Vampire book to escape the fate I will bestow upon them. I notice that this Vampire did not stop to bare his fangs or hiss. I leap over the building and cut him off.
“You’re slow, Vampire, but still faster than the humans you prey upon! You are filth, and I, VAMPIRE: The Vampire Hunter shall end you!”
“Wait, you’re a fucking Vampire too?
“Yes, I am a Vampire, I am VAMPIRE: The Vampire Hunter.”
“A Vampire Vampire Hunter?”
“Yes, beyond all Vampires, I must hunt them, rid the world of their filth.”
“I oughta kick you in the fucking neck!” I spin kick him into a wall.
“Oww, my ribs, dude, not cool.”
“Do not threaten me, Vampire.”
“Anyfuckingway, I thought I was alone! Did that fuckity puss knocker Zack put you up to this?”
“Was that the old man’s name, Vampire?”
“Fuck no, fuck that old stupid fucker, he was an asshole! I’m talking about Zack; the only other Vampire?”
“There are countless Vampires.”
“Countless Vampires? Fuck that! Did they all fall into that vat of radioactive bats too?”
“Hold still, Vampire!” I grab the Vampire by the throat and jaw, to examine its Vampire fangs. Holes. Vampire fangs with holes that suck the blood up through them. He is no true Vampire. Or perhaps a new breed of Vampire. I resolve to investigate further.

“Listen here, Vampire, your brain patterns are that of a human. I’ll let you live, this time.”
“Man, fuck you, Vampire, I ain’t never seen not other anything, so you tell me what’s up, or I’ll kick you head in!” I break the Vampire’s arm, and cut off a finger.
“Ow! You god fuck damn sonnuva Vampire piece of Vampire fuck! Ow!” While the Vampire swears to his wounds, I disappear into the night.

Over the next few weeks, I observe the Vampire, and seek out this ‘one other’ Vampire that is like him. This Zack Vampire has embraced the ways of the Vampire. However, in addition to the fangs and texture, not tone, of skin, there are other incongruencies to their form of Vampirism. They cannot turn others into Vampires like themselves. They can be fully sustained on normal food, and do not need to feast upon human blood as a Vampire would. They have limited Vampire mind control, but only for petty things. Their speed and strength are both augmented well above the normal human, but nowhere near Vampire status, let alone my own. They had an aversion, but no weakness to sunlight, acting as mostly nocturnal. No weakness to garlic. They also had the Vampire’s flight. But it all simply did not add up in my trained and perfected Vampire hunter mind. These were no Vampires; they were superhero freaks. Their attitudes screamed of ones trapped into Vampirism. They had no choice, not the choice of a Vampire. I know nothing of radioactive Vampirism. What good are these Vampire-Men? I have no time to train them in the ways of the Vampire Hunter, my mission is too important. The war against the Vampire is mine and mine alone; with their powers being nigh-Vampire, they’d only slow me down. If I gave them the tools to hunt other Vampires, using their immunities, they’d only get themselves killed.

Not a bad idea, a Vampire of any kind is still a Vampire. If not, then they’ll destroy Vampires, and make my path easier. I collect the two Vampire-Men together, and tell them my proposal, of the tools I’d be willing to give to them, stones that track the true Vampire, weapons that I have collected that I no longer need to use against the Vampire. Long needing a purpose, the Vampire-Men accept, and become Vampire hunters. I leave them with one of my safe houses, and enough tools to train themselves. They will be easy to keep track of, and can only be of use on their own, for they will never have the power to rise up against me. It is not in them, for I am a Vampire, and I can read them as humans, these Vampire-Men.

I leave them to my own devices. There’s a city full of weak, idiotic new social-Vampires that have not been worth my time that they will be able to handle. Sad, pathetic Vampires made out of the attempt to lure humans to embrace becoming feasts for the Vampire, romanticizing it:
A plan made in the Vampire’s twilight season, knowing that I, VAMPIRE: The Vampire Hunter am out for blood. I am a Vampire arising a new moon over the reign of the Vampire filth. I will eclipse all Vampires throughout time. It is the war I fight to see that they all die. By the breaking dawn of this new age, not a single Vampire will survive my wrath.

Now it has been a time since that event, I still seek out true Vampires, Vampires with plans, Vampires who have survived for centuries. Now, after I carved my name into their underworld, the Vampires say that they are coming, coming to tear me apart. I will give them their chase. I will increase my efforts. I will go after their Vampire facilities, their Vampire syndicates, and their Vampire-Gods!

This entry was posted on October 6, 2010 at 3:33 am and is filed under Fiction, Horror, Vampire. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.