Bound to Death Part 2

They walk to the site of Tolo’s dead relatives, and the record begins to play on its own in his arms. An ominous aura surrounds the two men, as mists form about their feet, and the sky darkens. Decaying hands tear up through the ground, driven by the sound of the recording. Vincenzo is quick to realize something amiss, while Tolo stands there, record player in hand.
“What the fuck, we gotta fuckin’ get the fuck outta here.”
Tolo has no response. Vincenzo grabs him by the shirt, and runs, almost dragging him back to the truck. Once inside, they drive fast down the winding path of the cemetery, the dead rising from the grave, superseding the ground behind it.
“Ya gotta shut off that fuckin’ record player, I knew that thing gave me da creeps. Ah fuck.”
“It can’t be shut off, Vinny.” With those final words, the truck swerves to a crossroads in front of a large stone embedding in the ground, and Tolo takes hold of the wheel, making it stay on course with the slanted sepulchre.
“What the fuck, Tolo?” Tolo offers no response.
Vincenzo jumps out of the truck, as it crashes through the stone floor, and falls three stories into a cave within a giant cavern, dug by demons. Surrounding this one larger hole are thousands of smaller caves, spiralling downwards into blackness. Smashed into the skull of the now dead Tolo, the record continues to play its black symphony in the van upon the edge of the precipice, facing the death dark of the central pit.

A few short miles away, in the second level of an underground parking lot, a group of teens are hanging around the back of a van. The original Misfits play loudly to the reverie of their young ears. Jamar, the youngest is the most enthusiastic in himself, from his hair to his denim vest to his expressions. Dinah, the beautiful and vivacious young blonde, hopelessly attached to the arm of Ryan, a confident young man, who shows his self-assurance in his buff physique, not that his strongly worded chin needed it.

A figure slowly shuffles towards them.
“Aw, not the fuckin’ security.”
“Relax, it’s probably just Beryl, I think he’s workin’ security tonight.”
“I don’t know, you two, the way he’s walking… it’s scaring me.”
“Hey! Beryl! You okay?” No answer.
“Pfft, fuck this guy, then,” Ryan says, shooting his can of beer at the shambling figure. It connects, bouncing off and rolling onto the ground, spilling the shaken contents. The figure shows no signs of reaction, and continues, stepping into light. The teens can now see the animated rotting corpse clearly, mindlessly heading towards its senses of their flesh. Behind it, they now see and crowd of similarly rotting bodies. Their moans stem perhaps from pain, perhaps from the movement of their decayed animation, acting as a sort of bagpipe. It’s hauntingly human, yet altogether monstrous.

2 Responses to “Bound to Death Part 2”

  1. Considering that this isn’t a finished story, I think that horror is one of the most difficult genres to write. Wording and descriptions are everything (thinking of H.P. Lovecraft here). I think your horror writing style could use a little tweaking here and there; but all in all, this is good considering you’re more Sci-Fi/GS oriented. Your dialogue between characters is really good–very natural and age appropriate. I think your descriptions could be better worded, more rich and flowy (it’s difficult to verbalize via typing).

    General comments when reading:
    –“Antonio Bartolo Linguicci” Man oh man, the names you give your characters are something else. How beyond Italian and silly!
    –What was written on Tolo’s wife beater? I am curious, you mentioned it stood out, wouldn’t his friend have noticed it??
    –“..with a healthy dose of chest-hair popping out from his unbuttoned silk shirt” made me laugh out loud, I love it, very good description.
    –I suppose I’ll see what happens in part 3; although technically Tolo is already a zombie, I imagined he would have tried to kill Vinny already. Why take control of the steering wheel, especially since he’s hanging onto the flesh&bone record player so badly? Why not kill his bud?
    –Dinah should totally be a redhead, they’re beyond underestimated in literature.
    –“..acting as a sort of bagpipe.” nice end comparison.

    Finally, I will now go read “The smells of Jiuzhou Stadium” because it’s supposed to be a possibly related post…

    • The text on Tolo’s shirt was just ancient unreadable scripture. Vincenzo did not notice, because it was a dirty grey wifebeater, but the way to text was written, it could have been one of those 80$ ones, that they sell at fancy stores, with the scripture just normal printing, and made to look chic, so Vincenzo probably has one almost like that, for when he works out/jogs.
      Tolo is half-dead: a slave to the forces of darkness; their pawn, not a zombie, sort of possessed/mind controlled; he took control of the steering wheel to crash the truck into the stone entrance to the sepulchre, and that was the best/fastest way to do it and get down into the caverns, he did not care about his life or his Vincenzo’s, it’s the demon’s job to provide the sacrifices once the player is in the pit.
      Dinah is blonde because she’s based off of a young Dinah Shore,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: